An autobiography writen as a biography.
“I did not fight and I won, I did not try and I lived. In the battles end, I stood standing- strong, willing and alone.”
This is the auto-biography of Efraim Siounis, at the twenty-one years.
Efraim is an enigma; a mystery wrapped in a riddle, branded with an upside-down question mark, begging not only the question “What is it?” but also the question, “Why upside-down?”
The beauty of both these questions is that they are useless. The answer will do nothing for the asker. This is the true beauty of Efraim. Inspiring wonder and the questioning gaze, but offering back only further confusion and consternation. In short, Efraim is a cozy blanket for a cold world, but it is square, not rectangular, and therefore one never knows which way to turn it to get the best coverage. One’s toes are inevitably left exposed, left to atrophy and blacken. But you can’t blame the blanket for this… can you?
So wonder loudly: just what is an Efraim? The search is its own reward.
He is a boy; male rather. A man, possibly, he hopes. He was born in Montreal, Quebec Canada. He is the tenth in a family of eleven, son of Greek parents with a Christian Orthodox background. He is terrible at remembering names, dates, and numbers, but can remember everything else pretty well. He believes in philosophy and true intent. He lies in a pinch. He respects the means but ignores the ends. A forgiver, he deals with acts by judging the intent, not their consequences. He’s brutally honest, yet always loyal. He takes the bad with the good. He is aggressive when very, very frustrated. He tends to embellish most of his stories, but with good intent.
He takes punishment responsibly, but takes responsibility like a criminal. Efraim has only two goals, to love and be loved by others and his kin. He has been loved but hasn’t learned to love yet. He never gets what he truly wants because he can never truly handle whatever it may be upon achieving. He outright lies at least 30% of the time (but not here).
His therapist says he is a very lonely person.
He’s passionate and opinionated. When he is nervous he talks about himself. He’s mostly a self-centered, self-righteous prick. He knows absolutely nothing about geography, politics, music or being laid back. He doesn’t smoke, drink, do any drugs or drink coffee. He is perverted, sexually active, not at all a virgin and is probably a better lover then your boyfriend. In fact- he IS better than your boyfriend.
Eccentric. Artistic. Energetic. Out of shape.
Looks great in a tie.
He believes he is a fantastic dancer, in his head. He fences, wrestles and plays pool. A movie, comic, videogame and cartoon buff, not to say he doesn’t know a whole bunch about other arts. He has dated a lot of girls, slept with a dozen…loved few. He has attempted suicide once for real, tried to a bunch of times, often starves himself and is too intense for his own good. Despite his inner demons, has accomplished great tasks of personal progression and overall will not call you 20 times a day anymore. He goes to church every Sunday and likes to swear, but not at church. He enjoys cookies and little yellow ducks.
Essentially, he just wants to be loved, even if it’s in an empty and artificial way.
No he does not remember your name.
Yes he remembers you.
No he doesn’t have friends.
Yes he is single.
No you cannot date him.
Yes he will sleep with you.
No, he does not like you.
Yes he will stop calling.
No he will not tell you his birthday.
Yes he was telling you the truth that time.
No, sorry that was a lie.
Yes he can give you great advice about everything.
No you can’t rely on him.
Yes, you will probably end up hating, ignoring or disliking Efraim.
No, you probably will never forget him.
Efraim Siounis has been an aspiring artist since 1997. Originally he started drawing just to impresses his peers and make new friends. He honestly hates the process of creating art but the little goals that are achieved are well worth the effort. (At least, that’s what he tells his art teachers) As a matter of fact, attention is still probably the main motivation for his work.
He currently resides in Montreal Canada, in a small room at his parents house and has no clean pairs of pants.
He had a dog but never a wife.
