In Defence of Winfreyism

Several months ago, Oprah Winfrey came out in support of Democratic candidate, now presidential candidate, Barack Obama.

I turned to my friends and said that this would probably get him elected, for despite the fact that most Americans identify themselves as Christian, Oprah has become the United States’ new religion.

Almost a year later, my local newspaper published an article by Jennifer Green called St Oprah, which discusses Oprah as a spiritual figure. The article describes the complaints of Canadian and American churches that Oprah is blurring the line between spiritual and commercial pursuits by praising new age books and promoting a deist, nondenominational approach to religion.

As a student of history, I’ve studied the rise and fall of religions and their various sects. The churches’ critiques of Winfrey’s gospel sound like the petty mockery of dying religions. I know I’m throwing my lot in with the article’s author, but I’m not going to be as diplomatic about it.

I say: screw the churches!

Why shouldn’t Winfreyism become the US’ new religion?

Granted, Oprah is vain; she puts her face on the cover of her own magazine every month. She refuses to visit or fund inner-city schools, claiming that all the kids want are iPods and sneakers. She gives cars to her audience, without taking the time to check whether they can afford the taxes on such extravagant gifts.

She is human, and she has flaws.

But when you look at other religions, Oprah is a paragon of virtue.

Oprah never told anyone to sacrifice their child in her name the way Yahweh did to Abraham.

She never encouraged people to stone criminals to death, nor told women they had to be subservient to their men.

She never accused anyone of being evil, or encouraged the masses to burn women who were too outspoken.

Oprah doesn’t tell people they shouldn’t have sex.

She doesn’t tell people they’ll burn in hell for choosing not to have children they don’t want, and she doesn’t tell those infected with HIV that it’s punishment for their sins.

Oprah is one of the few people to get Americans to read. In a world where most of us would rather spend time watching TV she got rednecks to pick up copies of Tolstoy, Faulkner and Steinbeck.

She publicly shames spouse abusers and champions successful women.

While the Catholic Church is shutting down clinics in Africa for distributing condoms, she’s opening schools in these starving areas, giving people a way out of poverty.

Unlike other faiths, which present unrealistic role models, Oprah has universal appeal. She is not a mother claiming to be a virgin. She is not a blue eyed, bearded, white male. Oprah is a black woman with a weight problem in a country where being female, heavy, and black are major disadvantages, and yet, she is both famous and the wealthiest woman in America.

If that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is.

Other religious leaders make a business of bashing other faiths in an attempt to win more followers and keep current members in the fold. They stand at podiums everywhere promoting their message and arguing that theirs is better than those of other religions. Some will even go insofar as to claim that people who don’t buy into their message are condemned to some form of hell.

Though she identifies herself as a Christian and occasionally mentions that Jewish peacenik, Jesus, Oprah keeps her religious message vague enough to appeal to everyone. She says God is everywhere, effectively liberating her followers from the depressing chore of church attendance.

It is on that note that I present my endorsement for Winfreyism.

Let it become the new religion and let tolerance and happiness reign!

A-Oprah.

-Samantha R. Gold

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