NOV 16th  :  Reflection on 14
 Yeah I guess suicide will solve some things.
But I'm not going to let it beat me.
I'm going to fight it till the last breath.
I will become a better person, not for anyone else
but myself
*deep breath*
I am not a man hore.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 14th  :  Relapse
Maybe I do deserve to die
Fuck- I should kill myself.

Common, let’s look at the facts here.
I haven’t worked a day in my whole entire life.
I never once lifted a finger for myself or my family.
I have the worst hygiene and respect for my family.
And further more proof on that is my plan for the rest of my life
which is to mooch money off of my family and do what I want forever.
That is so selfish, it makes suicide look like redemption.

Everyday of my life for the past five years were a waste.
I don't want to deserve anything. I avoid work and rewards.
I hate getting paid for things and I hate working.
I am a huge zero.
And I’m being rational here, don’t think I’m all just depressed.

Seriously, what have I accomplished in my life time?
Absolutely nothing at all.
Like I said, I never worked a day in my life.
Cynthia calls me the most selfless person she ever met.
But that is far far from the truth.
Im a entirely to selfish.
I take from my parents and my friends and never once returned.
...
... for my road to redemption to work then I’m actually going to have to
start caring about people and my family. Start working to deserve to
live for free. Start being an adult. ...
That sound entirely to hard for me. What if I screw up?

And right now I am completely in love with Cynthia and the more I realize
that I will never see her again the more I want to give up.
Anyway, those are just details. My point: without cyn, then I have no motivation
fake motivation or not, I still can’t use myself as motivation.

I am a loser.
...
*laughs*
Who the fuck cares about my art. I hate it, it’s a curse.
*Sighs*

Suicide is very appealing right now. My brother billy is right.
All I do is sit in front of a computer drawing asking for no money
waiting to jerk off to porn every hour or so
while worshiping to some fake love from a girl that hates me
and let’s not forget never ever once doing homework ever.

Really, that’s all I do.
I’m like a child. I am avoiding responsibilities and I am scared lifeless of them.

It’s either I change everything I am and love everything I hate
or kill myself because fucking really, I so don’t deserve redemption.
I a manhore asshole loser that’s good at the arts.

My dad stops punishing me because he gave up.
Maybe I should punish myself.
Ill be surprised if they actually have a funeral for me.
Like my father did to me, I need to simply be forgotten.

Fucking Eeore.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 12th  :  Elementary Blowout
 So I get to school early completely wrecked feeling like a burnt our cigarette bud walking a line that’s far from straight trying to keep my eyes open thinking in-between my yawns.
*Yawn* ... anyway, so I get there and I go to class, skip it and crash in the wonderful community of the varies clubs in one big room. There are so many different clubs that fit in small cubical in a smelly room. The Sci-Fi, Comic, Jap. Animation, Green Earth, Animal Rights and the Gay Club. So there a lot of ab-norms around here. No Joe Average. Rage against the machine and all. Think out side the box.
So I crash on all their couches thinking about what to do. My eyes close and I go into a blissful world of gay gossip and sci-fi facts. Then I pass out and I wish I could be a mirror and look into another mirror and see who I am inside and forget about this stupid quest to refuge. Then Niki and the rest of her friends walk in and out all day as I tell everyone about my journal. Well not everyone just Kavita really. I just sit there rehearsing my journal to Kavita, this girl that is high on life. Like someone that would sit in the front of a roller costar and reminds me of a big giant pink furry hat that I saw at a store once.
Everything went slow and dull untill I decided to drag myself to my old elementary school to get something from over there. My elementary school is fucked the fuckediy fucked up. It is so weird to go back to your old elementary school. I’m walking around this building saying stuff like “In my day” this and “I remember” that. It is so so so so eerie. Everything is so weird. It’s like I am still in elementary. It was almost as if I was still living through all that torment I went through in elementary. Oh my god- the weirdest thing was when I was standing in front of the sink that I bled on when I got my finger cut off. No actually.. that wasn’t the weirdest...actually it was the most real. but... yeah. That was the most real but the most eerie was when I went to visit the place I would go to when I was nervous or though that no one wanted to see me and I deserved to be alone. And when I get there, at this little corner behind the work room on the 4th floor and I see three kids there sitting eating lunch. Just standing there looking at these little kid hiding there eating there lunch and fucking super surprised that they’re there. Like no one ever goes there. These kids must be hiding, there hiding...it was so weird..
Anywhere, so I turn the corner and I see these three kids, 3 girls, and I break out crying and tell them all that i’m sorry like 298398 times and they are like “What’s wrong mister?” and I don’t curel up or anything. I just stand there looking at them with tears rolling in my eyes looking into that mirror that’s behind the sink. It’s this dirty dirty mirror and it’s sorta wavy so it’s like a circus mirror and you can almost make out your face. There were like a million reasons why I broke out and I didn’t cry for very long. But I was shocked there looking in a mirror for like 20 minutes. The kids left quick after I cried and I stopped crying when they left I just stood there. There was this intense build up and then I got mad. I though about yelling at everyone like the people from elementary. And then I run and kicked in the mirror. I didn’t make a dent or break it, just left a shoe print. Then I turned around and walked away from the high school. I didn’t even go upstairs to visit Mind High school and see Silly Tracy.
Anyway. Whatever.
So I get back to Dawson and see a bunch of Muslims rocking out to prayer music and head back to the gay club. I walk in and I see the bunch hanging out. Hmm... the bunch. I guess that’s what I should call them. The bunch. *Smiles joyfully* Get it, bunch of fruits.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 11th  :  The Skull with the Three Candless
 So Costa started to snore last night and I was awake since 4 watching scrabbled porno and trying to sleep in my ultra cold basement in attempts to avoid my brothers and mothers snoring all the while thinking about what’s right to think about and imagining myself as an archangel with a mow hawk striking down on these little demons that torment all with a giant fish. A great big giant fish with a big white star on the side of it while it breaths fire like a blow torch.
“Caramel Marshmallow!” I would scream as I destroyed the demons.
Anyway, so I pilviaged my way through the night and insomnia and tried to stay awake till the sun rose. When 6 rolled around and all porn stopped playing, energy began to run through my body and I started to lay on my couch taking deep breaths trying to keep warm with the blistering cold of my basement. The same thoughts still ran through my mind. No archangel now though. Just reviewing my redemption, trying to understand the logic in my life. The question I tried to cram was: “Why was I so fucked up when I was kid? Was it the A.D.D? Like- what lead to my personally disorder?”
I really have no leads on the answer. But it didn’t matter, by the time I decided to give up, it was 7.
On the way to school I lugged around Phoenix which weighs like 29784729 pounds and I paid off Shin-Liz for Phoenix. I think it was a good idea. But that’s not the direction I wanted to go in. Me and Julie went over to humanities and Julie did something really weird. See, last class, I missed it. And we had an oral due for today, and she totally helped me out and gave me all the answers. I was so confused, and not to mention fucking godamn dkdfjl;sadfjj tired from last night that I just slept through class.
I felt like such a bad friend to Julie and a bad student to my Humanities class. ...Hmm.. I wonder..

So after throughout the day I sat in the gay club with my gay friends looking at them talking about gay problems. *Room starts to spin around* Being gay is like a different world. Like.. like... like it’s so far from where I planted myself that there is no clever analogy to give for how much I don’t understand it.
Nicole is over here sitting beside me. I am not even going to try to get into what I want to ask her. So I simply won’t. *Pulls out a light bulb (literally)* I have an idea. I’ll go get something to eat.

*Goes steals 7 handfulls of Oreos and sit back in the Gay Club*

So everyone is siting around listening to a gay man singing over a bunch of different songs and I am like ultra annoyed on how he is butchering Rasputin but I don’t show my discomfort as my eyes begin to slowly close and the room starts to spin. Everyone’s voice become one and what happens is like the room begins to talk to me with everyone’s diaoulgue and it sounds like a constant slur of words overlapping each other only not... So I get up and leave the gay mans music and everyone giddy and I look at Nicole and see that her eye is bleeding red. Her contact has been left on for to long and is burning through her skull making her look like David from Clockwork Orange except without the eyelashes but she still has the one eye disfigurement going on. *Rubs shaved head* I remember seeing how hungry she is and I find myself in the cafe buying my lesbian friend a turkey sandwich in attempt to make the pain of her eye go away.
I find my way back to the Gay Club and toss a sandwich onto her lap and collapse onto the couch of the Animal Rights Activists Club wishing I had an imaginary cigarette thinking about who was that man with the suit that looks like it was made out of paper and reminds me of a duck. Then my eyes pell open and I see my lesbian friend, Nicole sitting beside me looking like that tom-boy you use to hang out with when you were a kid and just got mad at when she beat you at like racing or wrestling or something and- girl-friend? What? No- we pals. We hommies chu no? And while all this runs through my head I see the man walk in with the paper suit and looks at me and makes these witty comments and looks around smiling as if he is some great guy that should have his face on banners and hire people to wave these banners around him but he knows that he wouldn’t have to hire them cause he thinks that people would do it willingly. Hell- I’m waving a banner for you duck man. Arn’t you?
So the evening burns by quickly like ashes on a cigarette and I am sitting back in the gay club on this extraordinarily comfortable couch looking up at the wall and reading the fine print of all the gay posters all the while I practice remembering the names of my new friends.
“Nicole, Sarah, Kevita, Steph.” I say over and over pointing at all of them typing it as well so I will never forget. The Duck-Man is names Even but I call him Eeore because he doesn’t like the fact that I have a horrible time with names and calls me a moron for it. Well Duck Man can go to hell and I will never call him by his real name ever again. *Cracks whip
Duck Man has this crush on Nicole, my lesbian friend and I am greatly pissed off at the fact. Nicole’s sister Julie, the one from Humanitis, tells me that I have a crush on Nicole and am jealous of Duck-Man cause he is hitting on her. But that’s not how I see it. The reason I don’t like Ducky hitting on Nicole is that Nicole is a lesbian and that’s what she wants and that Ducky is interfering with her beliefs. WHICH ISN’T COOL! NO! DON’T FUCK WITH WHAT PEOPLE BELIVE IN!
*Pants*
Anyway, so on the way out of Dawson Nicole kisses the Papered Suit Man which makes me cram on what’s wrong. She tells me that’s she still in love with some other girl and she doesn’t know what to think about Duck Man. So I conclude that she’s just on the rebound off the girl she’s love with and bouncing onto Duck Man. So I go over to Nicoles house talking about that making me wish I was drawing Clow-Man. So were sitting around there and Julie tells me that Ducky doesn’t want a relationship just wants to be friends. But then we get a called from the papered suited man himself and it turns out that he is standing in front of their building.
Woah.
It’s either that this guy is a stalker friend or wants to fuck a lesbian. Logic says: PENIS!!
So the night was like lugging around a giant anchor, and Nicole was super confused all night and by the end I didn’t know what to tell her because I really don’t know how gay people work. So *stabs in the dark* I tell her to put logic of emotions and don’t believe Duck-Mans lies. She thanks me.
Oh, also I clarified with her and her sister that I don’t have a fucking crush with my lesbian friend and i’m just the coolest person ever.

So when I get home, I am about 5 hours late and my family is like where the fuck where you? And I tell them that I was just drawing and chilling after school but they didn’t let me finish and my brother started beating me up.
“Where were you?”
“School chilling and drawing.”
“Let me see your art.”
“Okay...now which bag was it in..was it in this one? No...maybe this one...”
“Which one is it in. Maybe you really don’t have one.”
*Punch in the stomach

fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker fucker!

I just went to bed trying to get some sleep. Which lead to a more violent night.
I was sleeping with my brother and he started to snore. I went to bed room B and beds are taken.
I go downstairs and my mother is snoring like mad. Then I got the bed rooms C and D and their taken. I pass by bed room E, my fathers, and he’s not in there and I go sleep there. Then he comes in and sleeps beside me (it’s a king sized bed) but he starts snoring so I go over to the middle of the house on the ground that has a carpet and I get the snoring from my brother my mother and my father all at once.

What happen was that I had to alternate from all three rooms and kick my snore relative over and over so they wake up and not snore. Woolie was right, I am the devil. I am the lord of darkness. Am I what you expected?.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 10th  :  Dude, it was almost as if we were there.
 I went to church bumbed out today. Last night was not a cool night. I spent most of it with my brother playing video games. That’s fucking right, I’m hooked again. We played this rip off of Worms for about 3 hours. He was pretty good at it, I must say, I never had so much fun playing a multi player game before. Pretty wild stuff. But that’s not why my day sucked.
So my sister is using the internet while I walked Ethan to the bus stop and she runs into some porno okay. (Note: 80% of the internet is porn 15% of is trash, as in unmastered anymore, 4% of it is personal and the 1% of it is information. And hell even that can even be made up. - yeah, the internet is a big place) So she's there looking at this porn (Ideepthrough.com, some good shit) and I get blamed. I’m not even in the fucking house!
“Her having access means you had access thus you went so now your punished.”
... ... ... ... *waves hands around like Chandler in attempts to find logic of the situation*
Anyway, so now there is no more internet for the Blue Bomber and I am stuck with my thumb up my ass.
Peice of shit..

So yesterday while Ethan was still around he asked me how are things with my redemtion. I’m like it’s been a long time, mabye I should call Cynthia and ask her how are things. He looks at me and blinks “Dude, it’s only been about 2 or 3 weeks.”
What?!
I felt like a month! Anyway, that made me stress out today while talking to Ang and I hung up with her and broke out crying and kneeing myself in the head trying to get a grip and think straight.
Everyone is fucked up. Everyone. You, me, him. At a time, everyone has a problem and dealing with it is hard. I am so not going to therapy cause if I do then, sure I will be cured, but if I have another problem down the line then I am going to rush over to the people in white sucking their cocks while they finger my ass hole with peanut butter. Fuck them. I’m Spartacus. I am not going down without a fight.

Anyway. Back to the prono. My sister gets caught and I get pinned. So I obviously get yelled at. Which is cool. But honestly, shut the fuck up!
“YOU KNOW THIS IS THE IT! NO MORE INTERNET!”
“Yup.”
“AND YOUR IN TROUBLE!”
“Yes. I know.”
“AND THAT MEANS NO MORE INTERNET. I MEAN EVER.”
“Right. You said that.”
“THIS IS THE FINAL STRAW!”
“Right you said that!”
“YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE YOU FUCK! NO MORE INTERNET”
“Is this even going anywhere?”

And that’s when they just probe me until I snap

“You broke into adminstrsion and got access to it all!”
“NO!”
“Yes you did you little sneak and now your in trouble do you know what this even means?”
“Right right no fucking internet, but I did not bust into anyones administration. Restrictions wh-”
“SHUT UP!”
*slap
“Doesn’t matter. You got caught that’s all that matters!”

No ass hat. That’s not what matters. That’s the matter of the situation, but we are beyond that and we repeated it over and over. I got caught (not really but whatever) and now no internet. Fine. I just want some clarity over the situation. I did not break into the computer and pillage the porn. One day I log in and see all restrictions gone. I even told them, but they tell me that now it’s my duty not to go wack myself off and be human. I tell then that I can’t help myself but nothing from them. Now this.

But they couldn’t believe my interest in clarity. They just kept repeating the fact that I was in trouble. Like they had to do when I was a child. They don’t understand that I am not like them. I don’t like meat or violence and I respect women and hate cheap thrills and I am not racist and have a less extreme belief in God and that I am my own person and like looking at all sides and *waves flag around*

Whatever.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 9th  :  Can you say- the happiest day of my life?
 Everything worked out great today. From begging to end, I had a smile on my face. It was a constant bliss through out the day. I was like on a constant high it actually turned me on. It actually turned me on so much I think I would have even fucked an outlet. ....
Actually now that I think about it, I had days like this before. I guess I better start naming this days. Maybe call them Golden Days. But gold is so fucking over rated. How about Like Real Good Pussy Days. Amen to that!
Anyway, moving on. I get to Dawson and I draw ‘Nicole Beullac’s Clown Man’ on the way over there. It’s this idea about a clown and a dog that coughs out bees. ... it’s a good comic. *Waves flag around* Yay for us, yay for me, yay for everyone. *Puts down the flag* Anyway it went great, the clown scares me.
And then when I finally reached Dawson I got the great news that Dawson is giving me this art desk for free. Hell yeah. All mine to own. That’s right, I’m a cowboy, oh yay. Yehaw. *Struts away*
And the best part about the day is that I get this nifty cool laptop from some girl at Drawson. For like 200$ I get this laptop that weights 3294808 pounds and is pretty much only good for typing. Only fucking problem is that the key board is not slanted, so my risks hurt like hell on stick. *Rubs risks*
Ethan slept over last night. We looked into my black cabinet full of memories.
Like this thing is jammed packed full of old pictures, notes, letters and other miscellaneous stuff. So you can imagine how long it toke when I decided to organize the whole thing in two separate pills of ART and OTHER. Every time I pulled something out I was like: “Oh wow, I remember this time....” and “Shit, I totally forgot about this character....” Really funny shit.
I saw a lot of different things that almost made me cry. Like some art I drew during the Packard Days. Like this one comic that has to be the obifiny of my obsessive problem. It sorta sickins me. Like made Ethan and I stay up most of the night looking at each other going “What the fuck I’m/Your fucked up.”
It wasn’t the regular sleep over that we use to have but then again, we did see some pretty fucking hilarious shit. There was this old newspaper from LHA. They funniest shit I ever seen in my life. So badly written and composite. I don’t want to go into it. The retartedness of it all. It’s just.... *cums*
damn. Not again....

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | via laptop

NOV 5th  :  why can't everyone fight with me?
so i spoke to angie yesterday. i told her about the bible and how it's cool and how hell isn't a place and yada yada.
anyway. we went into this huge argument on which was the right way of believing and i'm like you gota have faith in a higher power or something cause.. well let's get in note form

= angie doesn't believe in god or science. she is undecided. at first she claimed to be neutral. but that's impossible. because if it was the only thing she can believe for sure is that her and only her herself exists on the planet. i think, therefore i am. but she doesn't believe that, thus she has faith that i exist and so does everything else. and with this faith you believe things just are. and that comes with knowledge. it's called wisdom. to know there is limits to knowledge and to just simply believe something for what it is. the world was created in a big bang. by who? who cares! don't be dumb, be wise. except that it's true and continue on with your life.

= the bible, and every other religion is a guide to spiritual awareness. what no one understands is that most of the shit in the bible you don't have to believe. all of the storied and smack in the bible are like guides on how to achieve I-and-I. like self awareness, like yoga. like you achieve parts of your brain and soul that makes you take things on better and respect the more little things in life. that's what the bible is.

= we agreed that the realm of the forms is completely true. socrates rocks. and what is knowledge? knowing that you have limitations and you can't know everything. so if you ask yourself: 'where did the big bang come from?' or 'is there a god?' science or faith right? well it doesn't really matter. because if you believe in the realm of the forms and that we live in the world of appearances of the realm of forms then we got to say god is either equal, higher or lower then the realm of forms. but it really doesn't matter because let's say god did exist and he was much more powerful then the realm of forms which he gave us access to through free will and knowledge. well let's say god screws with the realm of the forms, then there is no real reason to live. he is taking back what he gave us. see? so it doesn't ,matter who god is or if it's all science and just a bunch of elements of force causing an ENORMOUS explosion that made life? eh... i'm sorry, but personally that sounds so blah. i don't like to believe that that's how we came to earth cause yeah, i would like to believe that i wasn't an accident. angie leans more onto the big band and science but she is undecided cause she agrees that it doesn't matter.

=now for all you religious buffs. well look at this tough guy. you can't deny the realm of the forms and that god can't screw with our decisions and all. right? right.
well in the bible, for example, ol' mosses killed all of big p-ro (pharos)  men with the power with the all merciful god himself.
wtf, he just toke away all their free will!
now there is a few things you can say here
- it never happened and it's suppose to just teach you a lesson.
- it did happen but then you have to acknowledge the 3 stages everyone goes through. even man kind as whole.
stage one: a child state, you learn through punishment.
every child can't learn something through teachings by mouth. fuck they just can't learn something if they don't even understand what your talking about. agreed? damn straight!
stage two: a grown person doesn't need punishment anymore to be tough virtue. he can be left alone to learn virtue through asking and listening. he has the free will to do  whatever he wants and no one is twisting his arm except civic law.
stage three: when one is finaly close to god. which is in everyone. which when you achieve you become close to your I-and-I. You are one with yourself or god. you and spiritually and mentally happy. you can take anything on. You don't need to eat you are in a constant bliss.
people that achieved the 3rd level are like monks in tibet that don't need to eat and meditate 24:7

anyway, moving on. why did god punish us all back then? isn't that contradicting what he said he was going to do?
well look at it this way. which was presented by the bible, but your to fucked up to even bother studying anything beyond what's presented to you that you would never even notice. but don't worry. i'm hear to hold you hand, wtv.
before jesus christ man kind was in stage one and was tough virtue through punishment. all the way from kain to the swear word the jew said when he saw jesus tomb empty up there under the shinny sun in Jerusalem. after that point god didn't fuck with us at all. we were on our own to learn virtue by ourselves. we have the rules, the writings, the fucking step by step guide to get there: the bible. see?
oh is it still fair? well hell yeah. everyone that sinned before jesus (even cain) was forgiven and jesus died for all dem sins. se in de bible he went down to hell and tough all the sinner in limbo what the word sinner meant and that he was all that and a bag of potato chips and gave them all free will to join him in the heaven penthouse in the sky.
now everything makes sense right?

= what is heaven anyway? well believe in god you must for this dohicky i suspect. but anyway. hell and heaven are not a place. they're a state of mind. the dark tunnel is your sould experiencing god and see how much it can handle. if you are a siner and you cursed any of gods creations, hell i'm talking about as so much to call someone stupid. it would be like calling god stupid. which your soul want a whole mountain to be place between you and B-I-GOD rendering you to a state of hell. vice versa: you are rendered to a state of bliss and stand there for all time  in bliss.

i think that's all we talked about. i am probly missing some garbage. something protagoresis view on life. well fuck all proto. fuck that greek old shit in the ear.

---
It angers me that i bleed as i fight
and someone i see that i use to look up to
someone supposedly very strong and true to I-Self
is failing badly and i can't help
because like my burns, they can only be held by oneself
what shall i ..you...we...
what shall happen, sir?
 

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | 0122 hrs

OCT 31st  :  being fucked up is so hard

i fight every second of the day.
trying not to think of me holding and kissing her.
talking and laughing with her.
sitting and resting with her.
her holding my hand.
her holding my body.

the irony is is that i never met her, she doesn't exist.
I have to teach myself that someone i though was real was fake. tell myself things i was so sure existed were lies.
and i have no one to blame but myself.
but i don't care. i admit that i have a problem.
and i acknowledge that i have to fight

calling yourself a phoenix doesn't work
i am going to have to burn and come out a new through my ashes. come out as the real Efraim Siounis

the real Efraim Siounis
that only she knew.

and i mustn't do it for anyone but myself.
i just deserve one thing and that's being myself.
no love, no one holding my hand, no support.

i am the phoenix rising through the ashes of redemption.
and i will come through. i will make it.

you can't help
i will have no help for i have
no expectations. no light at the end of the tunnel

however,
you can be there waiting to hold my hand
at the end when i come out a new born.
or
you can call me fucked up and ironically  be ignorant to the fact that  you and everyone else is fucked up.
you are no better then me.
though...
am i a better person because i fight it?
...
if i compare myself to how i use to be
then i'd be the coolest person on the planet

*grabs stomach and collapses
being fucked up is hard

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | 1440 hrs

OCT 27th  :  the tyrant in the darkness

ever look in the mirror and see your true self for a minute
then watch it get washed away by demons of your old memories and beliefs
you reach out to grab yourself, pulling up to stand up beside you
but the demons hold him down and spits in your face
they yell in your ear and blind your eyes
but you still saw yourself for that small moment
and your still holding onto the limp body
all you need to do is bit your lip and pull
pull bitch pull. for if you let go for one moment
everything you hate and try to avoid
you become only twice as worse

pull the bitch up out of the darkness and maybe in a while
through time, through pain and suffering
you will look in the mirror and see true yourself again
but only this time, smiling and cheering you on

You don't need a reason to like someone
you don't need someone to like you
you just need what you deserve, and that's being yourself

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | 1440 hrs

OCT 23rd  :  I haven't changed at all

i am holden kaufield.
i refuse therapy.
someone shoot me.

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | 2238 hrs

OCT 3rd  :  Bbbbooooiiinnnngggggg!!!

hm. i am so fucking  excited about my forum. all must go there. all must submit to the forum.
all. all. all!
I spent like an hour making all the avatars. they're like 8 f-ram's and i ended up choosing a pic of my face. ha, ha. man I'm sexy.
oh baby. anyway, come to the forum. i love it there. i want to hear all your feed back! its why i do all this. for the feed back! now feed the dog baby

i recently compared my habits to a genius and we closely compare. all i'm ever doing is drawing. i never even have time to log in this blog. friends are out plain'
"Efraim come with us"
nah nah, i rather be drawing.
i love to create. ok let's make this clear:
hobbies: artistic expression
got it? I am not a geek.
why do i rant so? let me explain.

at dawson they're a bunch of losers in the sci-fi club that know a lot about nothing. like me and blaze. example:
the sci-fi club is in hot debate. after a quick eze drop i found out that they were in debate over what was the key combination that captain kirk put into a safe before reaching inside it for a ray gun. now if you think that sounds stupid it gets even worse. they are debating over a shot that showed kirk from the panel over where his fingers hit the key pad. which means that the shot of Kirk opening the chest musta been behind the console where he strikes the keys. so, in reality, the actor was just hitting a prop.
"its definitely 3, 3, 8 okay."
"no its 3, 4, 8. its obvious that his finger moves."
after being completely blown away by their stupidity i turned over and commented:
"you are aware that he might have not been hitting the number panels we have hear on earth. it might have been letters or a combination of both. hell it might have even been in another language."
there is a long pause after my comment. then someone says:
"let's say that he was using a normal number pad."
... i arrest my case

now see i was worried that i was a geek like them as well. cause i knew what the hell they were talking about! doesn't that make me a geek? to know what they are talking about?!
after a close analysis with cynthia as the unfortunate supervisor. (sorry babe)
i decided that i am above the geeks.
cause it's like saying:
'the ppl that can, do it. and the ppl that can't,  talk about it."
i am the person that geeks talk about. catch my drift? I am an inventor to the thousands of lackeys waiting to be lynched.
so since i do it, it's cool for me to talk about it.

this makes me happy.
let it be written
let it be done
as say's Efraim, the unstoppable innovator

EFRAIM SIOUNIS | 2048 hrs

for more posts, click a month below